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Today I had my second dose of Bleomycin. It was a rough day for me because early at about 2 AM my mom took me to the ER here in Stillwater because my temperature was at 104.1 F which considered to be dangerous and also my tumors were giving me major pain that I was crying in agony. I couldnt move my left arm without feeling like someone was pushing a knife through my shoulder. My Fentanyl patch (pain killer) wasn't cutting it anymore and so I took Dilaudid, another form of pain killer but the pain was still there and I was burning. The hospital was able to ease my pain by giving me more of the Dilaudid through IV so that it would work quickly while at the same time giving me some Tylenol to lower my temperature. After staying for about two hours the pain was gone and I was discharged from the hospital even though my temperature was still a little bit high but I was no longer in the risk zone anymore. We stopped by some McDonalds to get some nuggets which was quite nice to have after a cruddy night. hah!

Unfortunately, I forgot that Dilaudid would make me itch all over my body. I could not sleep the rest of the night. I wanted to tell my mom about it but she was fast asleep and I really didnt want to bother her with it. So I sucked it up but I was powerless and kept on scratching where it it itches. The lack of sleep caused me to be breathless and a high pulse rate that would reach to about 150 to 160 (normal rate in a resting position should be about 100 or so). I kept trying to sleep but it was impossible. Tante Haerani and my mom drove me to Tulsa for my chemo.

I am hoping to meet with Dr Calava, the pain specialist regarding my narcotics and its reactions. I have a hard time with morphine which causes nausea, but im beginnning to wonder whether it would be more tolerable thant taking Dilaudid for the pain. Maybe Dr Calava would be able to suggest other pain killers that would help. My dietician is trying to make me gain a little bit of weight because im losing the pounds way too quickly and gave me a menu that would be filling but at would still follow my organic eating plan. I am a firm believer that the chemicals out there whether its in our food or airborne is a major reason for this horrible disease.

Off topic: my mom is the best! I really dont know how she pulls off from difficult tasks.
I will also share my time as a terminal patient under hospice and how we found Dr Pollock :)

xoxo,
Rina