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Well, the Methotrexate didnt work. After Tuesday the swelling on my shoulder wasnt getting any smaller and in fact I noticed it was beginning to grow. The growth was not much but it was enough for me to notice. Yesterday I met with Dr P to let him know about the situation before I would receive another dose of Methotrexate next week. He seemed a little concern and especially if the tumors really are growing it really doesnt give him much time to think of another treatment plan for me. But he tried to assure me that there are still options for me. So on Monday I will receive Cytoxin. Although I have received this drug before this time it will be a much bigger dose. It wont be transplant dose but it will be pretty high.

I wont lie and say it was easy to hear that another treatment plan has failed again. I am also a little concerned with the whole trial and error method that Dr P has picked for me. The side effects are not easy to handle and all these failures is taking a toll on me psychologically. The pain killers have kept the shoulder pain at bay but besides the shoulder pain I am feeling just fine. I am happy to say that I am eating a normal amount and sleeping just fine at night.

The cough is a little annoying, as usual. I am beginning to forget the last time that I wasn't coughing. After my meeting with Dr P, I went to the hospital to get a chest xray to see how my lungs are doing. I will not receive the result until Monday but im pretty positive that its because of the mass on top of my lungs. I dont think that my cough will dissapear completely until the cancer in my chest area is taken care of.

I am trying really hard to not lose strength or my will to fight. Dr P and I realize that my case is unusual and that getting to transplant has been a difficult one. Please pray for me that this Cytoxin will provide a much needed relief and a better success.

By the way, thank you all for your love. I know all of this would have been ten times harder if it werent for your prayers and support. :)